You guys!

Y’all need to start blogging again. I miss hearing your input every once in a while.

As for me, I’ve been working on moving out. It’s a lot harder than it seems. I have to pack all my Flagstaff clothes separately from my summer clothes, take both suitcases, and leave everything else to go to Phoenix. Then, when I go to Phoenix, I pick what’s going to college with me and what’s staying in storage… It’s really quite confusing. And I’m all packed up, but my aunt isn’t ready for me to move in. Blegh!

Also, I’m looking for another job, though I feel like I might be a bit too late. All the freed up summer kiddos are snatching up the jobs left and right. 

Double also, can’t wait for orientation in June!

That’s it. Laters.

Free At Last, Free At Last

Well, I did it! I graduated high school. I always knew that I would; there was never a doubt in my mind. It was a scary, stressful journey, but I had fun along the way. I had a lot of firsts, and I had a lot of lasts. I cried until I had no more tears, and I laughed until my stomach hurt and I couldn’t breathe. I performed my first and last musical. I transcended time in plays about Nazis, cowardly cowgirls, the 20′s, the 80′s, and modern day. I held an office and led my peers. I got a 4.1 GPA for a semester. I made my first enemy, though we ended up making amends. I broke hearts and had mine cracked a bit. I experienced the death of several family members. I have discovered God, and am working every day to keep him in my heart. I have gotten out of touch with people. I have lost a few good friends. I got my first job. I got my first car, first flat tire, and first bang-up. I played mud volleyball with some cool people. I made connections with people I played with once when I was 5.

It’s been a wild ride. But really, it’s only just getting started. Class of 2012, thank you for making high school utterly unforgettable.

To That Teacher

Dear Teacher,

It all started in my junior year in a Physics class. I sat next to a girl that was taking your class. She would always talk about how much she loved your class, and how funny you were. I even got jealous, because I really didn’t like any of my teachers that much. Little did I know that I would have your class in my senior year. The moment I walked in on the first day, you typecast me as “The Gringa,” and it’s been the best nickname I’ve ever had. It is a name that implies ignorance and incompetence, but I feel like we break the stereotype immediately, since we’re both white and speak Spanish pretty well (you moreso than me, but still). I like that we have that connection.

Every day from then on out was a learning experience. Even on the days we reviewed, I learned a new word or you told us a new story about your travels or a little fact about Hispanic culture. We even learned to learn from each other, which is a hard thing to do. And things were always interesting. I could fall asleep in any subject, but I felt more awake in your class. Maybe it’s because I knew you would not tolerate any disrespectful behavior from me. You respected your students as long as they respected you, and that’s something I really admire. But you also kept the class in high spirits. There was never a bad day in your class. We could all have fun together and learn Spanish at the same time.

There were some days for me that just wouldn’t go well. You picked up on it immediately. I usually just said I was tired or blamed it on whatever day of the week it was (“Oh, it’s Tuesday. Tuesdays don’t agree with me.”), but you knew there was something going on. I really appreciated your concern. You were one of the reasons I made it through my senior year. You and your third period class made it worth coming to school every day. I bared my heart and soul to you and that class, and you all supported me the whole time. You never questioned my odd behavior. You never judged me. I can’t be any more grateful to you.

So I would like to extend my many thanks to you. Estaba un año muy loco y raro, pero seré una “gringa” mejor porque usted me  enseñó. Yo aprendí mucho, y nunca te olvidaré.

Ud. Estudiante,

Elizabeth “Gringa” McNulty

Out From The Black

They died within miles of salvation. Had they been able to hold out for a few more hours, or had they brought more water, they could have possibly lived. That’s something I have to keep in mind at all times; salvation could come tomorrow. I could meet my future husband, employer, best friend. I could find my life’s calling. I could just have a really good day. Or I could literally be “saved.” But I’ll never know if I can’t make it to tomorrow. Suffering today is only an obstacle on the way to a perfect eternal life. If I prepare myself, I could make it.

I don’t want death. But I’m no longer afraid to die.

Later

I’m sorry too. I never meant to disrespect you, I guess it just came off wrong or something… But you’re right, I have been a horrible friend. To everyone. There is not one person that I have consistently treated well in my entire life. I really can’t think of anyone. And I suppose you’re teaching me a lesson by quitting my life; I can’t mistreat my friends and expect them to stick around for long. And the other “you,” I am a conditional friend. I’m a fair-weather friend. I’m nice as long as it is convenient for me. That is so awful. Really, I can’t think of anything worse. But am I going to stop making friends? No. It’s unavoidable, unless I go totally anti-social, don’t-talk-to-anyone.

I’m sorry that I’ve changed and you haven’t.

Demi-graduates

As graduation day grows nearer, I find myself becoming more and more nostalgic. And I keep reminiscing on all the good times I’ve had here in Rio Rancho. I’m really going to miss a lot of these people. They’re my temporary family. They argue like family, they joke about embarrassing stuff, and no matter what, they always have each other’s backs. We couldn’t have it any other way. I always thought that the only good friends I ever made were in Tucson, but that’s not true. These people have been my best friends for the past almost two years. And they have true talent. All of them. They amaze me every single day.

Round In Circles

I apologize for being such a.. mean person, I guess. I’m not too thrilled at what happened, but I guess what goes around comes around. I believe it’s karma. I don’t deserve such good friends. Time and time again, I hurt people. It’s a vicious cycle. But I apologize. To all that I’ve hurt with my words or actions. I hope you can forgive me. That would be the greatest gift of all.

Happy,

Yet sunburnt. Story of my life :)

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These Are My Confessions

Confessions:

The best part of my day only ever lasts a few moments.

I aspire to be beautiful.

I wish I knew what I wanted in life.

I trust easily, despite the number of times my trust has been betrayed.

A warm bed, a good book, chocolate, and a soft hug are all I really need.

There is only one person in the world right now who really knows and understands about 99% of me.

And I’ll give you a hint; it is not me.

Everything I have, physical or merely imaginary, can be taken away from me by death.

Opportunities, plans, possessions, relationships, favorite songs, desires, memories, homework, atoms, molecules, space.

Everything that I’ve ever had within reach.

My heart has never skipped a beat. My knees have never gotten weak. Sorry, can’t help it.