In a place where there could not be more people around me, I feel totally alone. My “best friends” are too absorbed in all the new people they’ve met to give a single damn about silly old me. I thought that I’d be the popular one in college. That I’d be the one making all the friends. I guess not. I suppose it was wrong to assume that my old friends would still like me. I’m probably blowing this all out of proportion, just like I always do. But I haven’t been to breakfast with anyone in weeks, I don’t eat lunch anymore, and I don’t eat dinner. I suppose not having friends is a good weight-loss plan. I really want to punch something right now. This is so frustrating. I try and try to reach out and do stuff with people, but no one is ever free, or they say they aren’t. I understand that people get busy in college, but she finds time to hang out with her other friends. I feel like crying. I can’t drag myself out of this.
At least I get to sleep in in the mornings. I don’t need to get out of bed to meet anyone.
This happens every freaking time. This has been happening since 6th grade. Am I really that boring? That weird? Why am I so easily replacable? I mean, would it kill you to reach out to ME for once? Anyone? I mean, you never text me to hang out, but you look down on your friends who branch out and find new people to hang out with. What am I supposed to do? What would please you, hmm? I like your new friends. I thought they liked me too. I dunno, doesn’t really seem like it to me. But when I asked you about it, you looked at me like I was crazy and told me, of course they like you. It sure doesn’t seem like you really like me all that much anymore, though.
You know, that person was right, that suggested to me that you liked gossipping way too much. I can’t imagine the things you’re saying about me right now. “I dunno, she just drifted away.” BULLSHIT. You’re the one that drifted. Whatever. I’ve tried way too hard. Next move is yours, chickadee.